I have had trouble with this in my team. Often my genuine critique has been interpreted as 'negative' or not from an 'opportunity mindset'. In general, if someone wants to raise a point but doesn't have a solution (yet), is the advice to keep quiet until they do? It implies "don't bring me problems, bring me solutions", but if we're a team working together, isn't it on us *all* to bring the concerns and address the problems?
Reminds me of the quote by Roosevelt - “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
I don't think I disagree with any of this, but would add to it that so I've had tech-side folks say many times that they wished my department raised more issues, because they have no idea what's going on with stuff after it ships. Maybe this is nothing more than reaffirming that context always matters.
This reminded me of my friend Tina. A chronic complainer. And then, she left and I became that chronic complainer. One thing I noticed when I displayed low agency was a simultaneous lack of belief. My lesson was to work on my belief.
I’m a huge fan of Michael Allosso’s idea that we should endeavor to always be truthful, specific and positive. If we just hit those three marks we all win! Complaining with out a solve is not positive. Worse, it’s lazy. It could be almost bullying. It’s certainly toxic. And it is safe to say the complainer is exhibiting a lack of courage (surety they have a solve).
Really enjoyed this. As someone who has stopped myself a lot from continuing to make something or trying more things because of the feedback, this puts things into a little more perspective. I appreciate the fact that you gave a piece of practical advice which is to give someone else permission to implement their own comment. This is why i am a big fan of open source. If you find something the issue or want to improve on it, you can comment yes but also take the responsibility of making it better yourself and gain huge satisfaction.
I'm a chronic complainer. Today, I made the commitment to be a maker instead.
Good looking out.
I have had trouble with this in my team. Often my genuine critique has been interpreted as 'negative' or not from an 'opportunity mindset'. In general, if someone wants to raise a point but doesn't have a solution (yet), is the advice to keep quiet until they do? It implies "don't bring me problems, bring me solutions", but if we're a team working together, isn't it on us *all* to bring the concerns and address the problems?
On footnote 4: you’re thinking of the Copenhagen interpretation of ethics. From https://blog.jaibot.com/the-copenhagen-interpretation-of-ethics/
Reminds me of the quote by Roosevelt - “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Most people are consumers, very few have the tenacity, patience and perseverance to create.
I don't think I disagree with any of this, but would add to it that so I've had tech-side folks say many times that they wished my department raised more issues, because they have no idea what's going on with stuff after it ships. Maybe this is nothing more than reaffirming that context always matters.
I received my first dislike on my YouTube video today, very timely that this post came across my Twitter feed!
This reminded me of my friend Tina. A chronic complainer. And then, she left and I became that chronic complainer. One thing I noticed when I displayed low agency was a simultaneous lack of belief. My lesson was to work on my belief.
I’m a huge fan of Michael Allosso’s idea that we should endeavor to always be truthful, specific and positive. If we just hit those three marks we all win! Complaining with out a solve is not positive. Worse, it’s lazy. It could be almost bullying. It’s certainly toxic. And it is safe to say the complainer is exhibiting a lack of courage (surety they have a solve).
100% agreed. Ok to complain as long as afterwards you fix the issue.
If you complain and do nothing about it, you are part of the problem.
If you complain and do something - anything - about it, you are part of the solution.
Really enjoyed this. As someone who has stopped myself a lot from continuing to make something or trying more things because of the feedback, this puts things into a little more perspective. I appreciate the fact that you gave a piece of practical advice which is to give someone else permission to implement their own comment. This is why i am a big fan of open source. If you find something the issue or want to improve on it, you can comment yes but also take the responsibility of making it better yourself and gain huge satisfaction.